Wedding Dilemma: My Future Mother-In-Law is Trying To Plan My Wedding

monster in law

Planning your wedding is a task that should not be done solely by you- the bride- of course, because there will always be family and friends by your side helping you make decisions. Let’s say your hubby’s mother is also offering to help you out with the planning, but she is being extra pushy and opinionated (monster-in-law?). What should you do when this dilemma occurs?

Here is some advice that we recommend to our brides in this situation:

  • Speak up and be honest. This isn’t easy at times, but it is completely necessary in order for you to keep your sanity- planning alone is already stressful and you do not need the added pressure. Let her know that you appreciate the advice, but that you would much rather make most of the major decisions yourself.
  • Assign her specific projects to work on. For instance, tell her to work on finding possible invitations to match the theme you picked. She can do research and then send you links for possible options, and then you can make the final decision. Do this will all of the tasks that you give to her, so you have the ultimate say in what will be at your wedding.
  • Make sure you and your fiancé are on the same page. Let him know that she is helping you with the planning, and that you appreciate it, but that she is being pushy. Last thing you want is to put him the middle. Update him on the situation so he knows how you are feeling and that you are actually including her in the planning.
  • Take her opinions in stride. Reacting rudely when you’re frustrated might make you feel better, but it won’t help your future relationship. Get used to repeating certain mantras- say things like, ‘Trust your son and me,’ or ‘We know you have wisdom to share, but we want to build our own wisdom through trial and error.’” Tell her you’d prefer to have more of a shoulder to lean on than a teacher right now, and you’d love it if she could take on that role.

 

Contact BTS Event Management for a complimentary consultation and let us be a part of your special day!

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